Free Lunch???

I was awoken at the crack of eleven.  How dare street salters interrupt my blissful moment in bed?  Have they nothing better to do?  

Suddenly, overcome with a feeling of responsibility of how to fulfill my day, was I to watch the View?  What was on the food network (obviously best) today?  Lunch with my neighbor?  How was I to get lunch?  Is my dry cleaning done and who can pick it up after work?

Not wanting to listen to the five hags nag - weird, I know - I logged onto facebook.  It was then I noticed that a friend of mine posted "looking for people for a photo shoot at Circa, no pay but catered."

I rallied up my unemployed and fabulous troops who were either still sleeping, some sleepless, and some unshowered to see if they wanted to have free lunch.  We met out front of the club at 2pm.  Our stomachs were grumbling and our bodies a bit cold.  

After a slow entrance,  we sat in lavish couches surrounded by beautiful people (us of course). Tediously getting our photos taken all we expected was our promised catered lunch.  Much to our dismay we found out that "catering" wasn't all cracked out to be what we expected. Normally, coca cola & orange juice would be perfect for our summer diets but it's winter and we are not slimming.  Naturally we need the heat in our bodies since ours got cut off at home.

Suddenly remembering the full, opened magnum of Stoli under my car seat and seeing the orange juice from catering...a light bulb went off in my head.  I gave an excuse that I had to run to an interview. As I stared at the door, the stylist asked "what for?"  I quickly said "Jr. Locksmith Apprentice" and dashed out of the room but not before snagging a tetra pack of OJ.  

As we walked to the car and dug around under the car seat a feeling of anticipation came over us - "it must be happy hour somewhere else in the world?" Mixing drinks on the parking lot floor like our frienemies, Squeegy Kids, we journeyed to the unemployed and fabulous headquarters to take the edge off our hard working day.  A few games of billiards and mixed drinks later... 

What was to become of the evening?  I'm still hungry...  I'm still drinking...